Making Decisions
I had a nice conversation this morning with a friend while having tea outside at the River Landing park. We are considering renting a house near there and both struggle with making decisions, planning for the future, and staying in one spot. I think if you are comfortable with a choice it is easy to make, and if it it's not then maybe it's not a good choice. I told her this was a realization I made while shopping for a watch to replace the one I had lost. It took a long time to find a new watch, and in the end I bought won almost exactly like the old one. The story is not really about the watch, nor about the fact that I am a creature of habit, but about how at that moment I realized I can make decisions and I do know what I want. At that time I was rather uncertain about a relationship, and I understood, not really wanting to admit it, that maybe we shouldn't be together. Then I told her another story about shopping for shoes in Spain a few days after I finished the pilgrimmage. I spent a lot of time shopping and in the end didn't buy any shoes. I was stuck with the fact that I needed shoes that would meet the criteria of my last job. It was a job that I didn't want to go back to and emotionally drained from the pilgrimmage it took a lot of energy to decided things. I also told her about decision making advice I have been given in the past. First is to make one decision and think about how you feel, another is the old draw a line down the middle of a page and weigh the pros and cons, and third is not to think to much about deciding. If an unsettled feeling wakes you up at 5:00 a.m., it's not a good sign.

I liked the conversation, and feel rather indifferent about moving into the house (even though it's kind of a big change). It's kind of a bad habit of mine to make last minute decisions and then figure out or stress about the details afterwards. I think my friend would make an interesting roommate, the landlord seems nice, and the house is alright. A one year lease is a little bit scary for people who like to travel, but feel obligated to be little more grown-up and settled now at this stage of life...